You’re Smarter Than This! (You Are Not Your Issues) – by Arnie Wohlgemut
“I had to check myself at the door. I felt at the end of my patience with this person” He explained. “Why?” I asked. “I am impatient, that is who I am” was his reply.
We all have things that we choose to identify with. Some of them become strong self -limiting beliefs.
What is your “it”? Is it lack of self confidence or fear of failure? Is it anger or disappointment? Are you indecisive or do you have flexible expectations and biases?
As a leader, I believe we need to know our issues, the good stuff and the not so helpful stuff. We need to make sure we do not project them on to others. How do you identify your issues? Here are a few ideas that may help you.
“At the root of our behaviour we become so distracted that we identify with it.”
Unknown
- ‘It’ Involved No Thinking
One ‘it’ was instant responses that flowed from my sub-conscious mind. I thought of myself as a shoot from the hip kind of guy.
My behaviour and reactions did not require me to think. I just put it out there with no regard for the damage that could be done. After all, my experience and knowledge justified my behaviour.
I had to learn to walk away. Take a moment and think. I had to remind myself that temporary problems are just one more way of guiding us to thinking in new directions.
“Sometimes your biggest blind spot is in the mirror.”
Arnie Wohlgemut
- ‘It’ Involves My Buttons
My leadership style is quite direct. I prefer to stick to a methodical step-by-step approach however, changes and circumstances can push my buttons. I recognize that one of my buttons is resistance to change, specifically changes to the path towards achieving my objectives.
I had to learn that my way of doing things is not the only way. Those that did it their way were not stupid or useless, they were contributing to the texture and uniqueness of my department.
“When you’re feeling anxious, remember that you’re still you. You are not your anxiety.”
Deanne Repich
- My Failures Are My ‘It’
We all have failures or circumstances we call failures. My reaction to failure is to withdraw and become introspective. I easily can identify with the failure and own it. Thoughts such as ‘I’m a failure’ or ‘I’m not smart enough’ can quickly become my identity.
I have come to realize it is not who you are that holds you back, it is WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT.
“Stop attaching yourself to your outcomes and your emotions, and see them as something separate.”
Paul Martinelli
As always, my advice may only speak to the surface of your situation. Advice seldom goes deeper. It remains your challenge and opportunity to go deeper and improve your life.
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