Who’s Listening? By Arnie Wohlgemut
I recently read a post by Brené Brown where in a survey they asked managers a simple question: “What behaviours do you find the most trust-earning in your direct reports?”
Much like most of us, everyone guesses the answer is reliability or accountability.
Those answers rank in the top 5. But what was the number one trust-earning behaviour by direct reports? Asking for help.
She goes on to talk about how it feels counter-intuitive. And it does!
Many managers believe they need to have answers at the ready whenever a direct report comes to them with a challenge. I too felt that way earlier in my career.
Imagine my surprise when comments about my ‘abilities’ to listen showed up in the 360° feedback assessment!
My weakness: I was talking when I should have been listening.
It then occurred to me that my poor listening habits and quick response with help and advice may have negatively impacted my team’s growth. That provided me with the motivation to change.
I would like to share with you 4 motivators that helped me to be a better listener:
1. I’m a big believer in empowering people. I recently wrote a blog about empowerment as an expression of love. This is a love for the person. You love what they do for you and for your organization. You’ve spent time with them; you understand each other. You see potential in them and are willing to help them grow through this experience. Would you assign an important project to someone you knew wouldn’t ask for help if she or he were struggling?
2. I’m a big fan of consistency – because people are watching! People need a consistent leader to follow. One they can count on; one whose decisions are predicable; one who listens; one who clearly knows that people matter. In my experience, consistency builds trust. A leader who is consistent is one that staff will trust. I was convinced that I was a good listener and expected others to be good listeners, but I didn’t practice what I preached!
“One of the most important — and gutsiest — things you can do as a boss and leader is to shut the hell up and listen.” Author and former media executive Kate White
3. I love coaching. Being a good boss and leader requires you to listen and have your direct report figure it out. Allowing others to find solutions and get the results you need is a sign of a good leader and a good coach.
4. Inevitably you will have a person with leadership potential on your team and if they are to succeed, listening is required skill. You can model listening by practicing the first three motivators I just shared, every day.
While I was good at extending a helping hand to others, I learn that most of us need to get better at asking for help when we need it ourselves, and respect those that ask us for help!
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