The Land of ‘-EST! – By Arnie Wohlgemut
We live in the land of ‘-EST. Yes, it is true. Let me explain.
We compare our lives to others. We want to be the rich-EST and the smart-EST, have the bigg-EST house, the nice-EST car or be the b-EST dressed.
Living for the ‘-EST’ is a mirage – we think happiness is just ahead of us. But when we get to it, it vanishes. Focusing on comparison and competition does not lead to success or happiness. In fact, I have never seen a happy person who competes for these things. (Oh, except for the fleeting moment when they believe that they are the rich-EST skinny-EST, smart-EST or the cute-EST person in the room.)
All studies show there is strength in a team, but how do you add value to a person, help one another succeed or work as a team if we are self focused?
Vince Molinaro, author of The Leadership Contract, talked about competition and teams when he wrote:
“Excessive competition creates poor working relationships with team members and keeps you from engaging stakeholders in a genuine manner. If you can’t bring people along with you, you’ll make your life much harder.”
Don’t get me wrong, a little competition is good, but not on the backs of others.
I strongly believe in becoming all you can be – I wouldn’t invest so much energy and time in mentoring and teaching in leadership circles if I didn’t.
But I also believe we need to escape the land of ‘-EST’ and invest in the land of ‘-ER’.
You know, the place where we make an effort to become a better listen-ER, a kind-ER person, smart-ER, fair-ER, and even happy-ER.
Folks I know who are kind and generous tend to be much happier and healthier. They don’t waste their time on competing – they focus on their own goals, becoming a better lead’ER.
My focus is to learn from others – even when there are points of disagreement, there is always a nugget I can take away. Comparisons are futile – I can always find someone better and not quite as good as me.
The only ‘-EST’ I’m after is being the best I can be!