KP Mylene

Communication Barriers

Communication Barriers – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Money doesn’t grow on trees.
Curiosity killed the cat.
The early bird gets the worm.
Good things come to those who wait.

None of these statements have a clear purpose and some are simply not accurate.

You actually can buy a “money tree”, it’s a house plant. However, money does not grow on it.
There is no scientific proof that curiosity killed the cat or anyone, just because they were curious.
Is there really only one worm and if you sleep in, you’ll miss your chances to get one?
Do good things actually come to those who wait? I believe it comes from getting off our butts and work hard then wait for the fruits of that labour.

How many more are there in our daily language that serve no purpose? In communicating with those in your care, these sayings, and others like them, can be confusing.

“The art of effective listening is essential to clear communication, and clear communication is necessary to management success.”
James Cash Penny

Clarity is the key to successfully communicating tasks

This past week, I received a reference check call for a former colleague of mine. The future potential employer had a lot of good questions. I was asked if all assignments were completed on time. The short answer was ‘yes’.

The story behind that answer is that I often have some discussion about timelines, but only after clarifying expectations. There were even times when the timelines needed to adjusted due to circumstances beyond our control.

“Anger is the result of lack of timely communication.”
Neetu Jawle

Timely feedback matters

One of the most feared ‘management’ function is the performance review. There should be no surprises, both positive and negative, that is why they are called reviews. If a team member did a great job, say so immediately. Do not save it for a better time because there is no better time. If there is something you need to address, say it right away, this saves confusion and anger later.

“Accurate communication requires that both parties respond to a common vocabulary with a common meaning.”
Robert O. Kuehl

Accuracy protects working relationships

I live by two key communication rules.

Good news and bad new must be delivered “in person”. Never using a text or email. If you cannot visit the person, arrange for a video call, and let them see your face. Only use an email to confirm your conversation.
Never summarize or generalize the issue. Unless this is true, you would never say “You’re always late.” “No one wants to work with you.”

Accuracy allows the specific success to be celebrated or the action to be corrected. It allows progress and builds trust.

Whether your team works from home or they are in the same physical location, take these three steps to improve your communication, make them your new normal.

The Mirror and the Magnifying Glass

The Mirror and the Magnifying Glass – by Arnie Wohlgemut

One of the most difficult things when facing a challenge or a stressful situation is to maintain a positive attitude and mindset. Times like these requires us to improve one of our critical management or leadership skills – focus.

What you focus on has a direct impact on your attitude and mindset.

We have two virtual tools at our disposal, that if used wisely can help us in difficult situations and times of uncertainty.

“The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man’s own eyes when they look upon his own person.”
Alexander Pope

The “Magnifying Glass”

We have the ability to magnify whatever it is we choose to magnify. As leaders, we sometimes have to encourage those under our care to avoid focusing on what they have lost.

In an online conversation recently, a young man was distracted by the fact that working from home was less than desirable. He wished he could be back in the office with “his work buddies”. This led to a great conversation about some other ways this experience could be made better.

This conversation also confirmed for me that you will find what you look for. If you magnify what you don’t have, soon all you will see is what you don’t have, and you’ll forget the 1000 good things that you have and have experienced.

“Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is the best teacher. Reflective thinking is needed to turn experience into insight.”
John C Maxwell

The “Mirror”

Looking at ourselves in a mirror as leaders, especially when something angers us, is seldom our first thought. Seriously, would you be happy to see how you are reacting in those moments?

However, the practice of reflection is the best catalyst for personal growth. When I see something in someone else that makes me angry, it often represents something in me.

When you look in the mirror, are you infected with the very issue you are trying to solve? Is the person looking back at you asking, “what kind of crazy are you?”

Both the magnifying glass and the mirror are important tools in our leadership toolbox that will help us become stronger and wiser.

Don’t Let It . . .

“Don’t Let It …” by Arnie Wohlgemut

You might have heard this before from your coach, your mentor or from someone close to you: “You let them get to you!”

It occurred to me that in this statement, the word “let” implies that you gave permission to have ‘them’ “…get to you”.

In this strange pandemic and careful reopening period, I have found some things bother me that otherwise, under “normal” circumstances, I wouldn’t have given them a second thought! The question I ask myself; “if I let those things get to me, why did I allow it?”

If you are like me, you really do let some things get to you.

It happens so quickly and in the subconsciousness of the mind. Permission you gave in your mind without even thinking about it.

Lesson one: Focus on what matters.

“One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.”
Catherine Pulsifer

I’m not saying we should be passive about everything. I am suggesting that you take control of what you give permission to – what you let get under your skin.

Many years ago, I learned the importance of “so what”. A simple question to ask yourself to help you measure the importance of issues, items or a report that might trigger a reaction. If the impact is in direct conflict with your values, you react accordingly.

Lesson two: Focus on being resilient.

“When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautiful broad spectrum of the human experience.”
Jaeda Dewalt

I am reminded that palm trees are one of the most resilient trees on the earth. They bend to the wind, then they bounce back. All the bending actually strengthens the root system.

Many other trees are not as resilient; they do not bend as easily. In some cases, they simply break. In others the root system is simply not strong enough to keep them upright.

Resilience asks the question: “what can I learn from what is happening around me?”

Lesson three: Focus on creating the circumstances to get the desired result.

“Be aware the cost of impatience.”
Adam Knowles

Like this pandemic, the circumstance came from a source outside of my control. Life is like that. We face circumstances that are not of our creation. However, this is exactly where we can create a circumstance to get the desired result! It all starts with patience.

Using what we have learned in the first two lessons above, we can channel our energy and focus to what we would like the result to be. This may be personal growth, a new leadership skill or learning how to enjoy life more.

I want to be like the palm tree, let the troubles of this time pass by and strengthen me, not break me, or uproot my values.

I hope that you too will aim to be like a palm tree. Become more resilient and patient; building on the lesson’s life experience provides us.

The Bigger Picture

The Bigger Picture – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Not to repeat what we have heard over and over again, but the truth is; life right now is different. For many of you, it is vastly different than what you had hoped for in this season of life.

With the future uncertain, we are not able to see what the future holds or the bigger picture.

“We have been willfully social distancing ourselves from each other for years through technology and devices. Now we have been given what we wanted, only to realize that is not what we want. We find this social distancing is causing anxiety.”
Abdu Murray

For years, I have followed society’s norm, slowly drifting towards ‘social distancing’ through the increased use of social media and the devices I have in my hands. I have even jokingly said; “I look forward to ‘Social Distancing’ on my terms”.

Now, several months into this lock-down, I am convinced this is NOT the norm I want. As John C Maxwell said, “Choices make us. Crisis reveals us”.

Starting today, I will determine what my new normal will be when this is over. These are my thoughts:

Encouragement to others is something everyone can give. Being an introvert, this does not come naturally. Will you start now and call someone? Use your voice (and your smile over a video chat) to encourage someone today.
Be kind to one another. This requires me to do what I can and simply love my neighbours. I have experienced and witnessed many of my friends leave footprints of kindness wherever they go.
Never let the situation mean more than the relationship. This has been called The Situation Principle and for good reason. Recently I have felt “Zoomed Out” with many online virtual meetings. A friend reminded me to not let that impact how I treated others. “Your relationships with those in your virtual meetings should mean more than the situation” she said.

Being a person of faith, I am reminded that ‘nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ It provides opportunities for growth.

“There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveller.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We may never know the meaning of this pandemic for our world and its impact for our lives. Yet, this is our opportunity to reset our version of #community. Join me and shape the future.

There is More to Me Than Meets the Eye!

There is More to Me Than Meets the Eye! – by Arnie Wohlgemut

One question we ask ourselves (now more than ever) is: “Do I have what it takes?”

This is not a new question; we have asked this our whole life! We asked it when we where looking for our first summer job in High School, when we were accepted into college even when we are considering a career path. And we most certainly asked this question as soon as we started a family.

Even though it is a valid question, how we apply it quickly reveals a glitch.

We compare ourselves to ourselves. We see our cracks and our failures. Since we as humans have a negative bias, we tend to assume that our cracks and failures make us unqualified or even less likely to be successful.

This is where we need to adjust our mindset to more than just projecting confidence. See your cracks and your failures as growth opportunities. This is the unique you!

“If when something bad happens you say – ‘it’s the story of my life’ – you need a new editor.”
Steven Furtick

We measure ourselves by ourselves. Yes, we are afraid to ask for input and help. We tend to associate our confidence with the conflicting thoughts about ourselves. Why do we think this makes us unqualified?

Get past the first impressions of yourself. Challenge your own story so the truth about you can set you free. We need find a person who sees things we do not see in ourselves. Find a good coach and mentor!

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15

Do your glitches cause you to miss opportunities? Do not let your cracks and failures define you!

Do Not Disturb!

Do Not Disturb! (Management vs Leadership) – By Arnie Wohlgemut

Was “Do Not Disturb” written all over your face or in your behaviour? Did you hibernate in your office? Did you avoid doing the difficult duties or avoid having the difficult conversations?

I believe that during this health and economic crisis and long after the COVID-19 pandemic has passed, we will clearly see the benefits of strong and trusting workplace relationships between employers and their staff.

“Extremely challenging times – like the crisis we’re facing right now – represent the greatest leadership test. Regardless of whatever our community is, we have now the opportunity and obligation to display leadership.”
Andreas von der Heydt

It is in the intentional do not disturb behaviour where the most striking difference between management and leadership can be seen.

Relationships from a management perspective focus on outward behaviour. If you want to be a better manager, you will focus on not only your outward behaviour but also that of your team. You will rely on systems and delegation to achieve the outcomes that benefit primarily you. You will measure success on sales, profits margins, performance matrices and other similar lag measurement techniques. Managers who think this way have the Do Not Disturb look on their face or in their behaviour.

Relationships from a leadership perspective require inward transformation. If you want to be a better leader, your focus will be on strengthening your character. These are the essential leadership skills that allow you to inspire your team to new levels of commitment and performance, and provide you the opportunity to empower them. You will focus on lead measures that can predict an outcome – a stronger more resilient team. Your team becomes your community! Leaders will look for ways to serve their community and remove barriers that serve no purpose.

“We need to take down our “Do not disturb” signs … snap out of our stupor and come out of our coma and awake from our apathy.”
Vance Havner

In my view, a strong and trustworthy team is built on a strong mutual relationship between an employer and their staff. Having a healthy workplace relationship is essential to your continued success.

It’s never too late to start!

Influencing Without Authority, or Even With It – 4 Key Behaviors – by John Hester

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.”
Albert Schweitzer

A common leadership challenge I hear in our workshops is: “How do I lead when I don’t have authority?”

Even when we do have formal authority, we often need to influence up and across the organization. But should we use our authority to coerce others to do what we want or need them to do? I believe the answer is a resounding no, except in two situations:

In a crisis or emergency—there is no time to influence right now.
As a last resort—when you have tried everything to influence, it isn’t working, and “no” is not an option.

Think about those times when your boss used position power to get you to do something. How did you respond? How did it make you feel?

Having autonomy—a feeling of choice—is critical to motivation. When we use position power to get something done, we remove the other person’s sense of autonomy. We may or may not get compliance, but we rarely get commitment.

One key way to influence, whether or not you have authority, is to develop personal power with those you need to influence. Personal power is a product of the trust and respect others have for you based on your actions toward them. The more personal power you have in a relationship, the easier it is to influence. Think of people you truly trust and respect. When they ask you to do something for them, you rarely think twice about it—you just do it.

Four key behaviors can help build your personal power with others:

Take the time to truly listen—and listen to understand.
Be authentic—make sure your actions align with your stated values.
Treat everyone with respect—not just those you want to influence, but everyone you interact with.
Keep commitments—develop a reputation for follow-through.

When you need to influence without authority—or even with it—remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“What you are shouts so loud in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Influencing Without Authority, or Even With It – 4 Key Behaviors by John Hester, a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies was originally posted September 12, 2013 on Blanchard LeaderChat. See more about John and the original post here.

What’s Your BS?

What is Your BS (Belief System)? – By Arnie Wohlgemut

A leadership belief system is often a story we tell ourselves to be true as a result of the situations we have experienced.

This is an important question – what is your leadership belief system? More than any management education or training, our beliefs and values directly impact how we treat people we work with.

Here are some thought that may reveal the source of your leadership belief system:

Where you are . . . Since we are a sum of our life experience, where you worked and where you are now matters. We model the leadership we see.

I personally have witnessed a young manager adopt the leadership style they were subjected to in the early years of their career. Abrupt comments were ‘excused’ as candour. Rudeness was the norm. They honestly believed that since they survived under a manger with that type of behaviour, it was acceptable to treat others that way. This was part of their leadership belief system.

“Destructive comments are an easy habit to fall into, especially among people who habitually rely on candor as a management tool. Before you make a destructive comment, ask yourself, not ‘Is it true?’ but, ‘Is it worth it?’ ”
Marshall Goldsmith

Why you are . . . There are many reasons we choose to take on a leadership role. It may be improved earnings, prestige or even a better parking spot. If you’re a person who wants to give back and serve people so their live also improve, this will be reflected in your leadership belief system and how you lead.

“My hope is that someday people won’t talk about servant leadership, because that will be the only type of leadership that exists.”
Patrick Lencioni

What you are . . . We to often buy into an identity based on what we do. This is risky, since our future work and status in life is not a certainty. What you really are is a result of the belief system you live by. These should be characteristics such are trustworthy, accessible, consistent, and supportive – in essence your reputation.

“The very best leaders, the bosses we all love to work for, are accessible, open, supportive and tuned in.”
Daniel Goleman

Who you are . . . “Who” is the essence of you; your character whether someone is looking or not. Knowing who you are requires self awareness. Some character traits you want to develop as a person and leader are – self control, patience, kindness, and faithfulness. These are not typically things that people see but they are things they experience working with you.

Being a leader is not about status and position, it’s about purpose. It’s your belief system that will shape your leadership.

Courage and the ‘Can of Worms’?

Courage and the ‘Can of Worms’? – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Being a leader can be rewarding. It can also present you with the biggest challenges of your life. Courage is the quality that distinguishes great leaders from excellent managers explains Bill George, a Harvard Business School Professor.

“Courage is neither an intellectual quality, nor can it be taught in the classroom. It can only be gained through multiple experiences involving personal risk-taking. Courage comes from the heart.”

Courage is a choice. Our willingness to be courageous is impacted by our state of mind at that point in time. Courageous leaders lead with principles–their True North–that guide them when a challenge needs to be addressed.

“I opened the can of worms. They just sit there, the worms. Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.”
Anonymous

Courage demands wisdom. How many times have you looked at what a staff member was doing, or what is transpiring at a meeting, then wondered if you should “open that can of worms”?

This is where wisdom from experience comes in.

Courage is taking the opportunity to address or correct what you see happening. Timing is everything. It is not something you should do with rudeness or abrupt disrespect.

“Nothing changes if nothing changes.”
Dave Gambrill

Courage leads to changes. There-in lies the solution that we are all looking for: to have something change, requires change. If we don’t take action, how could we ever expect things to be different, have people behave differently, or even have people understand your expectations. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Make a decision and change something.

“Do not complain about what you permit!”
Sion Alford

Courageous leaders don’t need to complain. Often the first thing we may do is complain. We often vent about what we see happening and about the lack of change. We may also complain about the lack of senior management’s will to change. Before complaints start, Courageous leaders already have a plan to make a change.

Change starts with you! Stop complaining, summon the courage within you, take up the challenge.

The Micromanagement Challenge

The Micromanagement Challenge – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Many of us have been told or have experienced the perils of micromanaging an individual or a team. From my experience, it’s not easy to avoid the trap of micromanaging as the Leadership experts say.

Inevitably, as a manager or team leader, you have responsibilities. Often the buck stops with you.

Here are four challenges that need to be met in order to avoid, wherever possible, micromanaging.

Time pressures. There are many reasons why time pressures are present in the workplace today. It could be lack of planning, or even the unreasonable delivery commitments made by senior management. These can lead to the “perceived need” to keep a close watch over the progress an individual or team is making.

When time pressures exist, ensure you also put the appropriate resources into place along with the delegated authority to achieve success.

Lack of trust. Micromanaging is the one thing that will make any employee feel that they are not trusted. For plenty of employees this approach proves to them that you believe in them, and therefore will make them feel much more loyal to you and your goals.

Having a workplace culture that allows for questions could open the door for new and quick solutions.

Inadequate communication. Much like trust, poor communication of your goals will lead you to question an individual or teams competence and ability. Be clear, share all the information you can and remember, no one can read your mind and few can read between the lines.

Communication, when done right can be a huge helping hand in developing employee loyalty, but when done wrong, it can have a real detrimental affect and harm any other efforts that you are making.

Lack of commitment to employee development. Let’s face the facts, not all managers and supervisors are good at coaching and mentoring. When combined with time pressure and lack of trust noted above, those that have coaching and mentoring skills often feel the only choice is to micromanage.

“No manager wants to see their best staff members move on to something new and leave them behind. If you want to keep the best talents working for your firm, it is up to you to recognize their abilities and develop it.”

Avoid micromanaging at all costs – it will destroy your office relationships, decrease your employees’ happiness in the workplace, and make them feel like you do not trust them.

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