KP Mylene

Celebrate the “Nobody’s”

Celebrate the “Nobody’s” ~ by Arnie Wohlgemut

A retirement celebration was planned for Oscar who was retiring from work after 33 years of service. Many gathered around to hear the speeches from coworkers, his team leader and upper management. As the formal part of the small in-house celebrations were ending, the General Manager asked him to say a few words.

Oscar thought for a moment, and after thanking everyone for coming, he turned to the manager and said: “For over 33 years I gave you my time and my hands. Sadly, you could have had this,” pointing to his head, “my insight and advise, but you never asked.“

~

I believe it is time to rethink how we reward people in our workplaces. Who and what we value and celebrate has not changed in a long time!

For the most part, we celebrate exceptional talents and gifts, that is why we have lifetime achievement awards in the Grammy’s, the Acadamy awards and others.

Other times we celebrate by handing out gold and platinum records to a successful artist, not because of their musical talent but on their ability to sell records.

At work we celebrate and reward those that meet the targets set for them. Strangely, we often not only reward them with a bonus, but a new higher target. (That to me does not sound like a ‘reward’.)

On the other end, we have diminished the work of all those people who ‘show up’ every day to either quietly work from home or work behind the scenes without being noticed. Like Oscar in the story above, if you were to ask them if they felt like they were making a difference within the company, many of them will say “I’m just a nobody”.

“I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for recognizing the potential in people and ideas and has the courage to develop that potential.”
Brené Brown

A good friend of mine suggested that I add ‘how to be a good follower’ to the list of leadership workshops I provide. At the time, I had not considered that.

A recent conversation with my sister about my friend’s suggestion ‘how to be a good follower’ has led me to these questions:

Why we do not celebrate consistency, or effort?
Do we stand behind the belief that consistency and effort are hard to measure and therefore we cannot reward on that basis?

The answer – growth-focused brand of capitalism that has dominated economic life in the North America, Europe and elsewhere over the past 50 years. Our celebration of success was focused on financial growth, increased profits, market shares and value to the shareholders. After all, dollars and cents can be measured.

“Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.”
John C Maxwell

I believe it is time to celebrate those that are successfully doing their job every day using their varied abilities that we may see as disabilities or limited talents and gifts. They are in many cases putting in more effort than those that have “exceptional talents and gifts”.

They are the ones who influence others through their consistency and efforts. We should celebrate what we empowered them to do.

These are the good followers, and they lead by example.

It is time to acknowledge their contribution in our workplaces; be celebrated as a somebody – somebody that makes a valuable contribution every day.

Cookies and Training: 6 Metaphors

Cookies and Training: 6 Metaphors – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Every year on December 4^th we celebrate National Cookie Day. Those of you who know me will smile when I say, “I love cookies.” Yes, it was no secret!

Each training opportunity is like a tempting cookie: if shared effectively, your team consumes every bite, leaving no crumbs behind and will always be interested in a second ‘cookie’.

Here is how I see it:

Know your team’s favourite ‘cookie’. Understanding your team helps you tailor your training messages.
Presentation matters. A good-looking ‘cookie’ is extremely tempting! Tempt your team with training that is presented well, then they know what they are getting.
The “YUM” factor. I love oatmeal cookies and, yes, I have a favourite brand. I buy it again and again because I know what I am getting. Consistency matters in taste and training. When your team knows you are presenting with proven knowledge and experience, they will listen.
Hit the spot. Each opportunity has a specific need; meet it! The right amount, not to small or big. Clarity is the key. It leaves the ‘hints of chocolate” in the palate.
Make sure it is a treat. Few people would see a cookie as a punishment or something they must get through. Training should be the same. It gives them a boost to make it through the day.
Serve fresh. The cookie bag that has sat on my counter, open, for about 4 weeks is not all that great. Nor are old lessons repeated over and over. Keep learning and have an open mind, I am sure you can find a fresh way to present a tasty morsel.

Grab a cup of coffee and a cookie as you figure out your approach to training.

Ready to Declare a Reset?

Ready to Declare a Reset? ~ by Arnie Wohlgemut

Every crisis creates an opportunity for growth. The Covid-19 pandemic is no exception to this. There are times however when we start to wonder about our own abilities to develop new skills and remain relevant.

Even though there appears to be ample time to stay current while working from home, the struggle to remain relevant continues.

Millions of people around the world have been forced to look for employment to support their families, and many of them are considering a new career path.

These challenges have raised the awareness of self-limiting beliefs and the state of our mindset. Here are some important items to consider that could lead to renewed energy and freedom.

“The gap between where we are and where we think we should be shapes our perception of ourselves and how we think others perceive us.”
Rebecca Minkoff

Who told you that?

There have been times in my coaching and mentoring practice that I have had to ask that question. When our ‘normal’ is being challenged and our comfortable life is at risk, some people ask for input from many friends and family. Without careful consideration of who you are asking, it may lead to these self-limiting beliefs such as: “I’m not able to do that.” I am not smart enough to start that.” “No one will hire me because…”

Do not believe these often-self-induced thoughts! You have everything you need to grow your skills and abilities and have access to everything you need to succeed.

“When setting out on a journey, do not seek advice from those who have never left home.”
Rumi

Declare a reset.

This is the most important step in growth. To declare a reset, it will require a new mindset. Here are three things to consider:

Only ask for advice from trusted people. Those that will be in your corner; those that are willing to invest in your success. A good coach and mentor are an example of such a person.
When asking an open-ended question like “what do you think?”, make sure they think. Make sure they are not just repeating what they have heard or provide thoughts based on their own limited beliefs and biases. Expect a thoughtful answer.
Ask for business advice from those that have that specific business experience. No one person has all the answers. No one person built a business alone. Weave all relied on someone else when our knowledge and experience cannot help us.

“You cannot correct what you are not willing to confront.”
Craig Groeschel

Summon Courage!

Reflect to times in your life when you were the most courageous. We all have those times when we stepped out with courage and self confidence into a new relationship, employment, or career. Most often these times happened when you had a “I can do this” mindset and attitude.

Summon your courage, make a plan, and most important, your plan must include a first step. Without taking the first step, you will never move form the spot you are on.

A “New Normal”, Are You Ready?

A “New Normal”, Are You Ready? – by Arnie Wohlgemut

The other day I was chatting with two friends and the topic of “things going back to normal” came up. One hopes that after this pandemic is over, things would be back to “normal”. The other was not so sure our old “normal” would ever be back.

This is not a new topic; do a Google search and you will find an estimated 100+ articles written about a “new normal”, some with hypothetical images of what that would include.

“What the world needs more than ever are courageous, genuine leaders.”
Patrick Lencioni

I believe that all this centres around the need for all of us in leadership positions to learn how to be human again. To be courageous and genuine leaders, caring about the needs of others and not just our own needs. In business, that may mean people focus versus profit focus.

For the first time in my life, our society has to work together for the good of others. For example, physical distancing and wearing a mask is good for everyone. It is not a political statement; it is a reflection of our values.

The time is now for leaders around the world, in business, governments and NGO’s to work together to create a better, more inclusive normal.

“We need to release ourselves from the lie that our worth is work. That our value is tied to a bank account.”
Paula Faris

Having lived through a lockdown, many of us had time to reorder our priorities. Our schedule driven lives, both at work and in our family life, have been so compressed that we had no space for faith and hope. Faith in ourselves and those in our care and hope for humanity.

Yet, the desire to have things go back to “normal” is firmly placed in our sub-conscious.

We wish for things go back to normal is because we were comfortable with the life we created. It was predictable even though it may not have been fulfilling and enjoyable.

I am looking forward to a new normal while being cautiously optimistic about what the future in management and leadership looks like.

We can’t change our way of thinking or renew our priorities from the comfort of “the superficial and the legacy models of the past” says Dr. Lance Secretan. “It is time to ask ourselves, Am I capable of doing this? Do I wish to do this? Am I tweaking and amplifying the paradigms of the past, or bringing about the new thinking necessary for a sustainable future?”

Where do you stand? What are you willing to do to help humanity with the “new normal?

Tips to Delivering Memorable Service

Tips to Delivering Memorable Service – by Arnie Wohlgemut

The most frequent complaint I hear as businesses slowly reopen from a COVID19 shutdown is how poor the service is in many establishments. Thankfully, there are just as many providing good service to welcome their customers back.

What does it really mean: ‘good service’? Is it the same as the good service you receive at your bank? Is it as good as the service your automobile mechanic provides?

Our definition of good service is subjective. The same applies to ‘excellent’ service. It is subjective. The definition varies by cultural background and by personal mindset. Our rating of service received may also be influenced by our circumstances.

Months before the first wave of COVID19, I was at a networking event, taking part in a conversation about printing services. One gentleman shared that his printing broker went over and above to ensure his trade-show supplies were delivered. He shared that she drove over an hour to deliver his materials. Her service was something he remembered and won his confidence.

The goal is to deliver service that will be remembered favourably, not simply good, or excellent. Memorable service is what can open doors to future opportunities.

“The key is when a customer walks away, thinking, ‘Wow, I love doing business with them, and I want to tell others about the experience.'”
Shep Hyken – Connor J. Wilson

Here are 3 tips for delivering memorable service:

Deliver a product or service, that is better, and can do more than what was specified. “One shouldn’t be just bound by what is asked of you”, says HSBC’s Anne Tay
Follow up, follow up, follow up. Never assume that when your customer does not call with a concern, that everything is good. Your chance for more work is zero if what you delivered stopped working the moment you left.
Ensure you are willing to provide the time needed to deliver memorable service. Consider it an investment. People will remember how much or little time you spent helping them be successful.

Providing memorable service is not subjective. It is objective. It is either favourably remembered or not.

What kind of service do YOU provide?!

Leadership Strength Through Changing Times

Leadership Strength Through Changing Times – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Throughout history, we remember the leaders that led nations, armies, and companies through difficult times. Difficult times are literally made for leaders says John C. Maxwell.

I believe there are 3-character traits that will help us lead our teams or companies through the economic dip COVID19 has created. In each of the following, I will focus on only one small example of these leadership character traits.

Humility

“Tell me one thing I don’t want to hear!”
Beth Comstock

A humble leader will admit when they do not know what is coming, or what the future may hold. It is not your role to know everything, your role is to lead. Your team still needs a confident leader, someone who leads with confident uncertainty.

Change forces us to confront things says Beth Comstock in a GLS20 interview. “You have to be willing to get feedback you don’t want to hear.” In uncertain times, your honesty and humility are as important as ever.

Courage

“What the world needs more than ever are courageous, genuine leaders.”
Patrick Lencioni

A courageous leader must be willing to unmake promises or declarations. It is no surprise that the world has changed, so it is also no surprise that some of our past declarations can become our biggest limitations.

Unmaking of promises needs to be done with humility, confidence and with transparency. They should never be unmade, hidden in a policy change, or other vailed action.

Courage to unmake promises does not stop there, no leader should leave that void with out a new vision for the future. It is your responsibility as a leader to provide hope.

Find a story in your vision of the future that gives people hope about the future.

Build Confidence

“It is a leader’s job to create a safe environment for people to bring their full self to work.”
Amy Edmondson

A confident team is willing to take risks. A confident team is a resilient team.

Building a team willing to take risks and resilience highlights the importance of participatory meetings. These are regular meetings where everyone has a voice and gets heard. They may be with one on one or with your team.

The importance of participatory meetings was once explained to me this way, and something I have never forgotten:

“There may be an elephant in the room. Each person on your team sees the elephant; they see it from their own perspective. Just because they see the other side of the elephant or see the elephant from the front or back, does not make them naïve or wrong. They are reporting what they see and feel.”

I believe now more than ever we need leaders with humility, courage and confidence building skills to lead us though the current business environment.

Switch the Grip

Switch the Grip – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Have you ever had a great idea, put it into practice and see it grow successfully only to have someone else take credit for it?

And to make matters worse – it was your boss who steals the credit!

I believe it happens more often than we are willing to admit. It has happened to me! I then found myself becoming reserved and limiting how and when my ideas are made “public”.

This is one of many examples of work and life situations that many of us have faced. Here are three lessons I have learn that could help you in similar, unjust situations like this.

– Let it go.

“Hurt that sits in your heart too long turns into hate.”
Lysa Terkeurst

You cannot grow or move forward if you have a death grip on past hurts. You may feel really good about your own disfunction while discussing your boss’s shortcomings, but it may lead you to failure and will potentially change the relationship you have with them. The solution for me was to consciously forgive and move on!

– Know your value; Continue to contribute.

“If you are holding the football, you are going to get tackled.”
Sadie Huff

You may sometimes feel anger, or even betrayal but no matter what you feel, it is important to confront your feelings – whatever they are. The reality is that your boss may not even know they triggered these feelings, so do not let them take root in your mind without a discussion. The solution for me was to continue to add value to the organization and to those in my care.

– Expect the best – you will get the best.

“Our greatest power comes from the character we reveal.”
Carly Fiorina

You cannot change what you do not confront. Know who you want to be, the character values you wish to reveal, and strive to be that person. Surround yourself with people who can hold you accountable and develop good habits that are aligned with your character. My resolution was to never willingly handover my integrity because of what someone did to me.

In life, a lot of things happen that you do not want to have happen. Some are caused by people.

Individuals are fallible; principles stand the test of time. I hope the choice for you is as easy as it was for me and these lessons can help you grow!

The Gift of Perspective

The Gift of Perspective by Arnie Wohlgemut

By nature, I have an optimistic spirit. That does not mean I do not have my down times or periods where I struggle to find a benefit of the situation or anxiety I am feeling.

Optimism is a choice

This I learned through experience that optimism is a choice. A choice to see the benefit of each adversity.

You may have a natural bent towards pessimism. If that is the case and you choose to be optimistic, you will have a fight every day of your life.

“We all tend to see things from our limited perspective, but our view of how things ‘should’ be causes most of the suffering in our lives.”
Lynne Goldberg

We recognize that what we look for is what we tend to see,” says Goldberg in an interview with Bustle. So, instead of looking for an outcome that is negative or some flaw, look for something positive that can be beneficial or add to your life, rather than diminish an area of its worth.

“There’s something wonderfully freeing about realizing the world can and will keep turning without you. Completely stepping away from work for a time gives us the gift of perspective.”
Elizabeth Grace Saunders

A friend of mine recently said that the Covid19 pandemic was a blessing. She learned about things that are really important to her. She had a chance to re-evaluate her business and do a test run of what future retirement might be like. She also made key decisions for a new business she had dreamed about starting for some time now.

She has made a choice to see the benefits of what could have easily been a high anxiety situation.

Optimism does not guarantee immediate positive results

It will not provide immediate outward change or immediately change your circumstances.

But an optimistic spirit can provide immediate inward change.

“Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.”
Napoleon Hill

You may have to work hard at developing that optimistic spirit. For example: determine to hang around optimistic people; determined to read positive thinking type books, articles, and blogs.

Optimism requires a change in perspective

“Replace negative thoughts with something more positive. Practice focusing on the positive thoughts. The more you practice, the easier it will be for these thoughts to become second nature.”
Erika Fay, LMFT

When flying from one location to another, airline pilots change the elevation of their flight path. The primary way for avoiding turbulence is to go to a higher elevation where the atmosphere is clear.

Consider the bigger picture when forming a perspective on something. Think of how this one perspective or negative thoughts hold up within the larger picture or real-world effects.

By widening our lens to the bigger picture, we begin to see things more clearly.

Strive to say at least three positive thoughts about yourself each day, as it can make you feel happier and more confident during the day and help banish negative thoughts.

“By being mindful of our thoughts and deliberately turning them around to be more positive and optimistic, we can, over time, create new neural pathways so that our overall disposition is happier.”
Ben Feder

Practice these things, make them second nature to who you are. I did, and my life is much more peaceful and enjoyable as a result.

#WhenAnxietyAttacts

#WhenAnxietyAttacts by Arnie Wohlgemut

If there was ever a time when anxiety is high, this would be it. Living in the middle of a pandemic has proven to be a difficult time for many.

Over the years, I have had my share of anxiety, both on and off the job. For the most part, I have learned how to control it, with one exception – I will get to that later in this post.

Here are 4 common causes of anxiety and some insight into how I try to manage them. I am hoping that these will help you too.

W. Words. We create anxiety for ourselves, and those in our care, by the words we speak. Maybe you heard your grandma or Mother say, “you worry me to death!” I am certain they worried a lot! This always affected me and gave me severe anxiety.

The world we create by our words is real. One kind word can change someone’s entire day and a bad one can ruin it just as quickly!

I remember a time in my life where I was very depressed and hard on myself. A work colleague noted this and placed small notes in every drawer of my desk. Each time I pulled one open, there it was, a positive affirming note of encouragement.

“Be careful with words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiving, not forgotten.”
Unknown

Speak positive words to those around you and to yourself. Words have power!

A. Your Approach. In university, I procrastinated on starting assignments, leaving them to the last minute was my normal way of doing things. I soon learned it was less stressful to start early.

For a part of my career I lived with no margin. I always had a bad day at the office if I left home late. Blaming traffic was a crutch because there is traffic every day. Once I decided to leave a little earlier, leaving room for “traffic”, my days started going better.

“A first-rate organizer is never in a hurry. He is never late. He always keeps up his sleeve the margin for the unexpected.”
Arnold Bennett

Having no margin made me a nervous wreck, I had to change that. Once you change your approach, life will be better.

V. Voices. This can be social media or the evening news. There is an abundance of voices that can easily cause anxiety.

I limit the time I spend, and the content I read on social media. If it becomes an overwhelming negative voice, I simply unfollow that feed.

I rarely watch the evening news, not wanting those negative “news” stories to be fresh in my mind as I go to sleep.

“Television is the monster in your home. It’s called program for a reason. Your television is nothing more than an electronic mind-altering device. It has been designed to psychologically change the way you view reality.”
Morgan Freeman

E. Your Expectations. These are expectations that we place on ourselves. This hit close to home. I have high expectations of myself. Often much higher than the need requires.

I have come to realize; they are also my created expectations that I believe others have on me too! I should know better, so I continue to remind myself, these are my expectations and mine to manage.

“Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.”
Dr. Steve Maraboli

Each one of these have caused anxiety in my life, forcing me to stop marinating in the negative voices.

W.A.V.E. away your anxiety; it never creates a welcoming and calming atmosphere.

What is your atmosphere? At home and at work?

You Need Both, Embrace It

You Need Both, Embrace It ~ by Arnie Wohlgemut

There are a lot of things that happen in this world that are connected and cannot be separated.

“Your potential is revealed in the process. The process reveals your potential.”
Steven Furtick

About a year ago, a young man I know was looking to change employment. He clearly knew what he did not want. The position he currently held payed well, had growth potential, but it also had staffing and management responsibilities. Over time, knew that those responsibilities were not what he wanted.

Most often, an increase in pay also means an increase in responsibility.

Sometimes through our choices and experiences we get “both”. Similarly, they are things we want, until we do not like what came with it. We need to stop judging the experience the moment it happens.

Progress attracts criticism – you will experience both.
Willing to accept failure requires resilience. You cannot be resilient without failures – you need both.
Struggle and hope. Without struggle you have no need for hope – embrace both.

Far to often we quit if we do not see what we thought should appear right away. Give it time to see what it is: something good or something else. It may be too soon to tell.

“The moment you stop resisting what is and start accepting the moment you’re in, all your perceived problems instantly start helping you.”
Sandy C. Newbigging

This pandemic may be difficult and continue to be hard in many areas of your life, but it may also be providing you an opportunity or clarity of purpose that you will celebrate in the future!

Ideas and action are required for success – you need both.
Management skills and leadership skills. To run your small business – you need both.
Empathy and listening. Without listening, you will never be genuinely empathetic – you need both.

Some of your greatest successes could be the fruit of your failures. Remember that pursuing your purpose and dream may also intertwine with pain. Embrace both.

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