The Meaning of Success

Picture of 5 hikers on a hill top overlooking a mountain scene. the background is blue in various shades.
The Meaning of Success – by Arnie Wohlgemut

One of the things we struggle with is what success means to us. I certainly do. Success is often measured in dollars and the value of our possessions because it is easy to measure it that way. However, the meaning of success can be very different from one person to another.

I recently read a definition of “meaning” that resonates with me: “the essence of meaning is something pointing to something else beyond itself.” A recent summary of questions asked to an online AI chat bot reveals that the number one question is about the meaning of life!

Here are some of my reflections on the meaning of success and life.

“Everything is meaningless until you give it meaning.”

Stephen Furtick
  1. Success and Life Context

The context of where we are in life’s journey is often a large influence on our definition of success. When we start our career, our focus is on growth and opportunity. Eventually that changes to reflect new circumstances and goals.

As we get older, many times we attach our story of success to that of our children or even our grandchildren. Life context is the largest factor for changing our meaning of success.

“Success can be defined in many different ways, but it’s up to you which one to choose.”

Tchiki Davis

How we define success reflects our connection to what is important to us. What is important is the driving force for our actions, our willingness, and our desire to accomplish goals. “The driving force can be extrinsic or intrinsic,” writes Nate Torres “– in other words, from outside forces or from within.”

2. Success and Life’s Connection

The truth is that you are in control of what success means to you. Not your friends, not your family, only you.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not easy to do this. It takes personal strength and resolve to define and live in your success.

“Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

John Wooden

3. Success and Our Attitude Toward the Meaning of Life

Unfortunately, how we define success and how it applies to our lives, reflects our life story and our attitude. It comes from our beliefs which were formed over time, from our upbringing and childhood experiences.

Our attitude towards life and work, is often a reflection of where we believe we are, in relation to our meaning of success.

“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 2:11

There is more to life than financial success. How successful are you in your intellectual life? Your health? Your relationships and spiritually?

The Value of Kindness

In the image there are two your girls, one appears to be about 4 years old and the other appears to be about 1 year old. They are sitting on a bench in a park. The older girl has her arm around the younger girls shoulder and they are both looking at each other. Both girls are dressed in colorful clothing of pinks blue and green and the younger one is wearing children's sunglasses.
The Value of Kindness – By Arnie Wohlgemut

This is a little story of an example of kindness by an unknown author. I will explore this a little bit more below:

My grandmother always cooked tasty food. But one day, she put a burnt pie in front of my grandpa.

Not just a little burnt, but black as coal!

I waited to see what my grandpa would say. But he ate the pie and asked how my day was.

Then I heard my grandma apologize to him for his dinner. I will never forget his response. “Dear, I like your pie.”

Later, I asked him if he told the truth. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Your grandma had a tough day at work.”

“She was tired. The burnt pie did not harm me but, a sharp word could have hurt her.”

We all make mistakes. We should not focus on the mistakes but, support those we love.

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Mark Twain

I love this story because I see two important leadership lessons in it.

  • Insight into someone’s world.

Clearly grandpa knew what kind of day grandma had. We are not told how he knew but I believe it is safe to assume he loved and cared for her enough to see the signs of a tough day.

As leaders, we have the challenge of the day-to-day whirlwind of activities and pressure. We also can take the time to know our team members through our daily interactions and one-on-one moments. It is there, if we really listen, we learn more about the person than just the status of the the task.

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”

Oprah Winfrey
  • The value of a kind word.

I see that grandpa understands the value of kind words and actions (eating the burnt pie without complaining). It is quite possible that he has experienced the pain of sharp words directed at him or the results of sharp words that he himself had spoken.

Many have written about leaders’ responsibility to add value to their team but, it is seldom recognized that leaders can add value just by silence. Knowing when to speak and knowing when to keep silent is an invaluable leadership skill.

Always remember that leadership is a privilege. When you are in a leadership role your influence will likely affect the trajectory of people’s entire careers and, often, their lives.

Serve With Heart

Serve With Heart – The Key to Inspiration – By Arnie Wohlgemut

Over the many years when I have coached emerging leaders, I often note that the terms “delegate” and “empower” are used interchangeably.

Delegation is NOT empowerment – not even close. 

Delegation is a transaction based on need. We delegate a task, maybe even authority to make a decision while we’re on vacation.

Most often delegation is assigned based on seniority and almost always has some limited responsibility. We articulate clearly when and what actions are needed. I have often delegated tasks to staff because they could do it better and faster than I could.

But that is not empowerment.

“A true leader leads by empowering not by enslaving.” – Debasish Mridha

First, empowerment is an expression of love. (Yes, I’m talking about love in a leadership blog!)

You love what they do for you and for your organization.

This is a love for the person. You’ve spent time with them and, you have developed an understanding and respect for each other.

You, the leader, see potential in them and are willing to help them grow through experience. They in turn appreciate the vision, the hopes and the expectations you have for them.

Love is an essential ingredient in being an inspiring leader!

Secondly, empowerment reflects your self-awareness.

I’m the type of person who loves to lead. A take-charge type of guy. I learned the hard way that I can’t do everything. I’ve often said the world doesn’t need another Arnie!

The world needs people who can ignite the spark in one another, nurture it into a flame and watch it burn in its amazing direction. This is the essence of inspiration.

I learned that I could love and respect a person enough to allow them to complete a project or an assignment in their own way. I am aware of my leadership tendency and know when to stay clear of creativity.

“Tomorrow’s leaders will not lead dictating from the front, nor pushing from the back. They will lead from the centre – from the heart.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru

If We as leaders truly value our staff, and value what they do for us, we need to set our ego aside.

The way someone else accomplishes a goal may look different from how You would do it. The path to the goal may take a whole new route, but if the outcome is effective, does it really matter how you got there?

I’ve never heard someone boast about having responsibilities delegated to them, I have however, heard people boast about a project or assignment that they completed with full authority, coaching and respect from their bosses.

Wouldn’t you want your name attached to that way of managing?

FACILITY ASSESSMENTS AND STRATEGIC ACCESSIBILITY PLANS

A man holding yellow glasses in his left hand and supporting his head with the other. He is sitting at a desk with a tablet, several documents and a cup of coffee in front of him. the background is dark.
Photo – Shutterstock
FACILITY ASSESSMENTS AND STRATEGIC ACCESSIBILITY PLANS – By Arnie Wohlgemut
A pressing issue facing facility managers across all building types is the crucial impact that barrier-free accessibility can have on a strategic renewal plan—one created from the risk management assessment.

Accessibility is a human rights issue, which stands to reason why it’s an integral part of the Ontario Integrated Accessibility Regulations (IASR). Those with accessibility challenges have the right to work, live and enjoy life with the rest of us. Removing barriers is also deeply entrenched in provincial building codes and various provincial accessibility legislation. Would it not also stand to reason that businesses have a duty and responsibility to remove barriers?

In doing so, it is necessary to understand how we have socially tied the need for barrier-free access to an “aging population.” In part this is true. As Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers continue to age, many of our facilities have fallen behind in making suitable changes. In reality, the needs may be physical, mental, emotional, socioeconomic, cultural or language based—none of which are solely tied to one generation.

This limited view is changing.

Definition of a disability clarified

Language matters when discussing disabilities. According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions).”

Every workplace should focus on becoming barrier-free. Free of impairments, activity limitations and participation restrictions. No other definition or explanation is needed.

However, disability advocates continue to highlight the many barriers that persist. In a 2021 study from the non-profit Angus Reid Institute in partnership with the Rick Hansen Foundation, those living with disabilities face barriers when trying to enter the workforce and encounter further challenges if hired. These range from inaccessible workplaces to not being provided with the appropriate tools for the job.

As conscious consumerism continues to grow, 62 per cent of Canadians said they would be more likely to give their business to an organization or company that has specific policies to support those living with disabilities.

Priority of service

“Once you start thinking about who I want to serve, rather than who I want to be, you have taken the first step to becoming a positive leader who makes a real impact on others.” – Jean-Philippe Courtois.

As facility managers, we are aware that we not only serve the customer but also our staff and coworkers. All building code accessibility requirements are specifically created to remove as many barriers as possible, considering the physical, mental, developmental or other health conditions that can interfere with many or all daily activities.

Not all existing building conditions should be considered a barrier. Stairs are not a barrier to persons with hearing impairment. To persons with partial or full vision impairment, they are no longer a barrier if the tread edge of stairs and railings are marked with contrasting colours.

If the path to a barrier-free facility can be addressed with simple, cost-effective solutions, we are making progress. Where that is not physically possible, institute an improvement plan, training and policy to address.

Emergency preparedness and response

Anyone can experience an access or functional need at any time. A broken leg requiring crutches is a health condition that is disabling. It can create a temporary disability that changes your response to an emergency, for example.

Persons with access and functional needs and anyone assisting or working with them should create a risk management plan. Addressing these potential challenges ahead of time will reduce the physical and emotional stresses during an emergency. This is the core of a comprehensive risk management program where every facility manager has a key role.

The challenge for facility managers is to look at typical building elements in a new way. Accessibility barriers to customers and coworkers may be some traditional design elements such as full-height glass entrance doors without markings, or lack of high contrast colour difference between walls and floors. Working towards a barrier-free facility could be a great real estate leasing plus, adding value to the service you provide.

This Management Memo article was originally published in the Canadian Facility Management & Design Magazine January 2023. To see this original publication, please click here.
https://www.reminetwork.com/articles/facility-assessments-accessibility/

New Skills and Change?

A photo of a dry flower in a field, background is out of focus. Caption on photo: "Your life does not get better by chance it gets better by change/."
📷 Declan Burke ©
New Skills and Change? – by Arnie Wohlgemut

“The future is predetermined by the character of those who shape it.”

Davos (Stargate Atlantis)

I recently heard a person reflect on parenthood that resonates with me. He said in the whole process of raising your kids, you need to learn new skills. The skills needed to change a diaper are not the skills needed to teach children the next steps in growing up. For example, we need to learn how to change a child’s diaper quickly and efficiently. This leads to a new skill on how to teach them to go to the bathroom on their own. Once they have mastered that, our newest learned skill is no longer needed and we continue to learn different ones.

Consider what we have experienced in the past several years. How many of us had to learn new skills in the COVID-19 pandemic?

I believe there are two forces at play here.

  1. Personal Immunity to Change

“The only people who like change are those who want us to change.”

Arnie Wohlgemut

Change creates fear and fear can paralyze you. The resulting resistance is a result of our psychological dynamic equilibrium being disrupted and appears like a personal immunity to change, write Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey.

Even though the only thing constant in our world is change, we still are naturally fearful of the unknown. It is change that often pushes us out of the current comfort zone, even if the current situation is unpleasant.

I encourage you to reflect on your current situation that might be a comfort zone, that is limiting your potential.

2. Competing Commitments

“Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you.”

Master Bra’tac (Stargate SG-1)

In life we resist moving forward because we have finally mastered whatever we needed to survive.

Sometimes change asks people to call into question beliefs they have long-held close to, perhaps since childhood.

We look at life through our lenses of experiences and learned biases. We then live out that knowledge whether they are true and beneficial. I encourage you to examine your experience and biases to determine if they are true and have help you reach your dream.

As always, my advice may only speak to the surface of your situation. Advice seldom goes deeper. It remains your challenge and opportunity to go deeper and improve your life.

Progress and Results Require Action

Accessibility Checklist
Progress and Results Require Action – By Arnie Wohlgemut

Facility assessments and strategic plans for making buildings and businesses more accessible for those with a disability is a big part of my business.

So, I asked myself: why are they not always effective in achieving action?

“A little progress each day adds up to big results.”

In an interview, Richard Kovacevich, former CEO of Wells Fargo Bank, suggested that what provides success and what is difficult to copy is not so much knowing what to do (deciding on the right strategy), but the will to do it.

How true is that!

He goes on to say, “I could leave our strategic plan on a plane, and it wouldn’t make any difference. No one could execute it. Our success has nothing to do with planning. It has to do with execution.”

“To get to where you want to go, you must take the next step in front of you.”

  • Start doing those things you could and should do in the plan
  • Start doing more than expected of you in the plan
  • Start doing important things daily in support of the plan

Successful execution is destiny achieved.

You’re Smarter Than This!

This is a typical road closure sign or construction area caution sign. it is an A frame sign with diagonal orange lines with diagonal white lines. the words in the center say "You're Smarter Than This!
📷 ShutterStock ©
You’re Smarter Than This! (You Are Not Your Issues) – by Arnie Wohlgemut

“I had to check myself at the door. I felt at the end of my patience with this person” He explained. “Why?” I asked. “I am impatient, that is who I am” was his reply.

We all have things that we choose to identify with. Some of them become strong self -limiting beliefs.

What is your “it”? Is it lack of self confidence or fear of failure? Is it anger or disappointment? Are you indecisive or do you have flexible expectations and biases?

As a leader, I believe we need to know our issues, the good stuff and the not so helpful stuff. We need to make sure we do not project them on to others. How do you identify your issues? Here are a few ideas that may help you.

“At the root of our behaviour we become so distracted that we identify with it.”

Unknown
  1. ‘It’ Involved No Thinking

One ‘it’ was instant responses that flowed from my sub-conscious mind. I thought of myself as a shoot from the hip kind of guy.

My behaviour and reactions did not require me to think. I just put it out there with no regard for the damage that could be done. After all, my experience and knowledge justified my behaviour.

I had to learn to walk away. Take a moment and think. I had to remind myself that temporary problems are just one more way of guiding us to thinking in new directions.

“Sometimes your biggest blind spot is in the mirror.”

Arnie Wohlgemut
  • ‘It’ Involves My Buttons

My leadership style is quite direct. I prefer to stick to a methodical step-by-step approach however, changes and circumstances can push my buttons. I recognize that one of my buttons is resistance to change, specifically changes to the path towards achieving my objectives.

I had to learn that my way of doing things is not the only way. Those that did it their way were not stupid or useless, they were contributing to the texture and uniqueness of my department.

“When you’re feeling anxious, remember that you’re still you. You are not your anxiety.”

Deanne Repich
  • My Failures Are My ‘It’

We all have failures or circumstances we call failures. My reaction to failure is to withdraw and become introspective. I easily can identify with the failure and own it. Thoughts such as ‘I’m a failure’ or ‘I’m not smart enough’ can quickly become my identity.

I have come to realize it is not who you are that holds you back, it is WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT.

“Stop attaching yourself to your outcomes and your emotions, and see them as something separate.”

Paul Martinelli

As always, my advice may only speak to the surface of your situation. Advice seldom goes deeper. It remains your challenge and opportunity to go deeper and improve your life.

Pessimism is Easy

young man sitting at a round table. He is wearing a shirt and tie. On the table is and open book, reading glasses and an over ripe banana. The picture is in black and white.
📷 by ?uestfelix ©
Pessimism is Easy – by Arnie Wohlgemut

“When your perspective is contracted, we experience fear.”

Victor Heredia

I am continually amazed at how the experiences of the past several years is shaping our behaviour. During the pandemic we re-evaluated what mattered, or so it seemed so at the time. We learned how to be flexible, either by working from home, studying for a career or reinventing our businesses. Our homes and home life came into focus.

More recently, there has been much written about the great resignation, which presumably is a by-product of this pandemic. My friend Mavis Fernandes calls it “The Pandemic Affect – Being Fleet of Foot!”

I’m not an economist but it appears a recession is potentially the next event we must endure. This combination of a great resignation and a recession is a concerning combination to all.

As a child we would play a game of musical chairs at birthday parties. My colleague Jeff Altman, who is in the business of helping folks prepare for a job search said in a recent Higher Ground Leadership team call: “The music is slowing. It is time to find a chair, not a crap chair but one that serves your needs through this environment”.

Sounds like this could be a flagship moment in our lives! A moment that could define our well-being in the short term.

How about you? Have you consciously considered your next action? Remember, pessimism is easy!

“Faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”

Steven Furtick

I believe this is a time for us to embrace hope in our untapped abilities. Have faith. What you see in yourself is not the end of your potential.

Believe you can be successful and will find a “chair” that will serve your needs through this environment. Be a water-walker, a person who can walk through a flood, that other people drown in.

As always, my advice may only speak to the surface of your situation. Advice seldom goes deeper. It remains your challenge and opportunity to go deeper and improve your life.

Ownership

A small note on lined paper pinned onto a corkboard with a white pushpin reading "Take The Initiative"
📷 Shutterstock
Ownership – by Arnie Wohlgemut

Here we are, part way thru another year in the transition out of the pandemic. This has led me to wonder if I have been doing what matters or, have I simply existed. Get up in the morning, eat breakfast, go about my day, get home, relax, and go to bed. Repeat.

I wonder if you feel the same way too.

It appears that our world is upside down, in turmoil and heading in the wrong direction. In addition, our workplaces are trying to transition from working at home to working in the office.

“It’s risky to mistake your boss for a source of happiness. They’re focusing on profits.”

Sarah Jaffe

Countless articles have been written about what employers should do to make the return to the workplace more attractive and welcoming. They talk about office design, paid benefits, and flexibility in working hours.

Sadly, few have been written about how WE can make the transition better ourselves.

We are quick to push the responsibility of a welcoming and happy workplace onto our employer and fail to take responsibility for our own role in making the work environment better.

“The longing you seek is not behind you. It is in front of you.”

Max Kanata (Star Wars)

Who determined that this was only the responsibility of your employer?

It is a mistake making your manager or the company owner the source of your happiness and the author of your return to the office attitude. We have a role to play, we can make the here and now better.

It is time to lift your attitude and mindset to a higher plain. Then you will “start to see the real, tangible value you and your skills bring. This might not be immediately obvious at first glance, but trust me, the impact you’re having is real.” says Alistair Cox.

Start today, be the change you want to see.

Cool Shades and Sunny Days

My Friend Jorge Abreu and I relaxing at a beach bar in Playa del Carmon, Mexico. Both wearing blue shirts, sunglasses, sitting under an umbrella at a table.
📷 by Arnie Wohlgemut ©
Cool Shades and Sunny Days – By Arnie Wohlgemut

“People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot.”

Bryant McGill

As I look out my office window at the sunshine on this beautiful morning, I recalled an interaction with my mentor that I had years ago. It went something like this: “Experience is the best teacher,” he said, trying to comfort me. The disappointment must have been written all over my face, my plans didn’t deliver the results I had hoped for. I didn’t even know what the lesson was!

“Before you look at your future, reflect on your past.”

Sam Adeyemi

Over the years, I have had to drive some distance to and from for work. Friends and family did not understand why I was okay doing this. They tried influencing my decision to drive to meet people face to face. The dangers of long drives, heavy traffic, poor weather, was a notable concern for sure but, everything THEY needed was right in their backyard however, I did not live in their backyard.

“If we’re not enjoying life to it’s fullest potential, we are only experiencing it to 50% capacity!”

Ryan Wohlgemut

I strongly encourage you to find your own way to reflect on what has happened in your life. Quite possibly every problem you face may, be an opportunity in disguise. Reflect on those challenges that you faced and overcame and soak up how it brought out the best in you!

Could you identify why you where successful?

Whether it is a long drive with cool shades on or relaxing in your favourite place on a sunny day, make YOU a priority!